 It's strange how quickly you adjust and get used to things. What felt like an unmanageable bomb a couple of months ago is now an unproblematic thought. The autoantibodies that felt like a death sentence on the dream of becoming a mother, no longer worries me the same way. It's the new normal that I will be a highrisk patient when I get pregnant, and I have come to terms with that. My gaze is wandering through the waiting room at the maternity ward in Rikshospitalet. I'm waiting to be called in for a preconceptional conversation. I am thrilled to be sitting here. 3 months ago I was told that my application would probably be rejected. Part of me is a little nervous that something new has emerged, but I don't think I'll be getting bad news today.
The nervousness evaporates as I'm called and step into the office of a cheerful and friendly woman. It feels like the whole room is filled with optimism and even though it's a serious conversation and a serious topic, I'm filled with the same optimism. There are several potential complications associated with pregnancy and SLE. It is very important that the disease is under control and that the disease activity has been low for at least 6 months before I get pregnant. Since I am Ro-positive (SSA autoantibody) there is around 2% chance of heart blockage in the fetus. As a result they will be listening at the baby's heartbeat every week from week 16. In addition, I will be put on blood thinners from week 12 to reduce the risk of preeclampsia (pregnancy poisoning). I will continue on the medication I am currently taking during pregnancy, as pregnancy may increase the risk of flare-ups. I am informed that the disease carries a higher risk of growth retardation and premature birth. The list of high risk and potential complications feels long. But the doctor emphazies that now I'm beeing told everything that might happen, usually it doesn't happen. With close monitoring, the vast majority of these pregnancies is sucessful. And this one will be to! When I leave the office, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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The landscape is coloured in a shade of spring and the sun is shining warm and bright in the sky. It's almost 4 months since I was diagnosed with Lupus and I am on the bike making my way down to Steinsletta. The body feels light and free. In the bag there's some bags of seeds and a bag of seed potatoes. A box of Jerusalem artichoke seeds is on its way in the mail from Kristiansand to Hønefoss. I have borrowed a plot of land where I can grow vegetables and am on my way to plant my seeds. As I put the shovel in the ground, there is no trace left of the person that spent Christmas in pain on my mum's couch . Hands, arms, back, everything works as it should and slowly but surely rows and beds are appearing in the soil. Soon they will flourish and nutriuos vegetables will start to grow. There is something therapeutic about it all. The body works, the mind is cleared and the end result will be on the dining table this autumn. Maybe this is the kind of work I need more of?  |
AuthorA blog about beeing newly diagnosed with lupus. Dreaming of becoming a mum once the disease is under control. I am translating the blog to English so the posts will appear on this page as I go. Archives
November 2021
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