Back from the dead: The solomum dream

​In the garden at my mother's house I have taken out an old rocking horse. It's a wooden rocking horse from the 50's, that had seen better days when I first got it. The rocking horse is a renovation project that was started last fall, but was put on hold. Now it has been brought back out again this summer, due to a growing expecation. In less than 3 weeks, there is a new check-up at the rheumatologist and one particular question is on my mind. Can I book a new appointment in Denmark this fall?

A little over a year ago, I sat and watched excitedly when the Storting voted to change  the Biotechnology law. Leading up to the vote, one could see in the comment sections that this is a controversial topic for some. The changes made it possible for single women to get fertility treatment in Norway. The passing of this particular point in the new law was the most uncertain. When the new law was passed on 08.06.2020, I was already in the process with a fertility clinic in Denmark, but  extremely happy this would now also be allowed in Norway.

Deciding to become a solomum is a process, and not something taken lightly. The idea of ​​the traditional family is strong and is something you almost take for granted will happen by at some point. But life can not be coerced into neatly arranged plans. Initially, I thought to myself that if I had not met the man of my dreams when I was 35, I would do it on my own. But it would take another 2 years before the idea was fully matured and the choice was made. Naive, as you are, you think that when the choice is made the rest will follow suit. But nature is fickle and 3 attempts later I was still not pregnant. I had not imagined I would have a lupus-shaped hill to climb. Some doomsday prophets from the comment section will say that it's nature's revenge and that I got what I deserved. In one of my darkest prednisolone moments, I was thinking the same .. But no one is guaranteed a life free from sickness and death, not even those who form a family in the "normal" way.

Fortunately, today there is room for many types of families and with all the support and encouragement I have from the people around me, this will  turn out just fine. While the rocking horse is getting the first layer of adhesive primer, I cross my fingers and hope for a thumbs up from the rheumatologist.