encounter with an old aquaintance

​After filling up my pill box for the week, it became clear that it was time to stop by the pharmacy to stock up on Imurel and prednisolone. Since the grocery store has an offer on my fave coffee this week, I made sure to beat two birds with one stone. After grabbing grabbing a couple of bags and heading towards the check-out, I bump into a familiar face from high school. In his trolley a cute kid and he tells that number 3 is on its way. We chat a little loosely of this and that. He's aged well. Only a few wrinkles around his eyes reveal that he is in the middle of raising small kids. There is something nice about coming from a small town where you can suddenly stumble upon old acquaintances in this way.

Rewind back to March and I would have done anything to avoid suddenly bumping into old familiar faces. Especially handsome guys from high school. It would've sent me straight into the comparison trap and a trip down to the dark side. The voice in my head would've pressed all the painful buttons and intensified the feeling of loss, sadness and loneliness. The question "how are you?" would lead to blank lies and flickering eyes. Most likely I would have tried to avoid it all together and tried to make myself invisible. Maybe stuck my head down the freezer  and examined the table of contents on a packet of salmon. Today I'm trying to be invisible. When I answer that all is goodl, I can feel physically in my body that I actually mean it. My  smile is real and my voice is steady. That I'm gesturing with a pharmacy bag in my hand, I only register afterwards. There is a completely different calmness in my body now, compared to March. It no longer feels like I'm trying to fight the situation, but have accepted it as it is right now.