Heartache up Krokkleiva

It's a gray July morning with rain in the air. The sunny  days of June, have been replaced by the moody July weather. I'm scrolling down a ever colorful Instagram feed as breakfast is sinking. High mountain peaks, blue sea, happy children, family breakfasts, couples in love and perfect sunsets. Outside the living room window rain is dripping and the sky is gray. A lonely bowl of oatmeal is sitting in the sink along with a cup of coffee. I shut down Instagram and tie my sneakers instead. With the change of weather, the desire to run has reappeared. The time is ripe to get started with cardio and strengthen the heart.

The heart. The symbol of love. The source of our life force. The muscle that pumps the blood out into the body and holds the most important emotions. If the physical heart remains strong, then perhaps the metaphorical heart can withstand and hold more as well. If you're careless with whom you give your heart to, you risk being heartbroken. If you have been diagnosed with lupus, you risk early development of .. atherosclerosis ..? 

Atherosclerosis is the medical term for what grandfather calls hardening of arteries.
Fat or inflammatory cells accumulate in the arteries which makes the blood vessel narrower. The blood flow with all its nutrients and oxygen is reduced, and finally when the veins are clogged you get a heart attack or a blood clot. Cardiovascular disease is the most common cause of premature death in lupus patients. This is reflected in the rheumatalogists advice about sticking to a heart-friendly diet, such as the Mediterranean diet. Another common heart condition that is directly related to SLE is pericarditis, inflammation of the pericardium. It's an inflammation of the membrane around the heart, which causes pain in the chest, especially when you breathe deeply. Although pericarditis is common in lupus, very few get serious problems from it.
 
What I'm feeling in my chest today, however, is neither from pericarditis nor atherosclerosis. It's the feeling of a heart that is working a little harder, with a steady pace, up Krokkkleiva. A burning in the leg muscle reminds me  that it's been a while since the last time. The contrast between the green, lush forest and the clammy, white fog that's seeping down is striking. A bit like the contrast between the Instagram feed and the first of the summer holiday. The contrast between the lonely oatmeal bowl and the freshly baked family breakfast. Rain and salt mixes on my cheeks and trickle down my skin while breathing get's a little heavier. Suddenly I'm up at the top and my hand touches the fence at Kleivstua. There is something nice about going out into the rain too. Meeting the grey and gloomy head on. Feeling the contrast from the sunny days. And tomorrow it's going to be sunny again.

Sources:
https://www.legeforeningen.no/contentassets/96dde4ab348e41cbb5e2f4d4fa9a6e37/hjf-2016-5-kardial-affeksjon-ved-autoimmun-sykdom.pdf
https://revmakompendium.pressbooks.com/chapter/hjerte-manifestasjoner-ved-revmatiske-sykdommer/
https://sml.snl.no/perikarditt
https://nhi.no/sykdommer/hjertekar/ulike-sykdommer/hjerteposebetennelse-perikarditt/