the mommydream and pregnant friends

Theres some unread snaps in a Snapchat group. A friend's pregnant belly pops up and the  comment makes me giggle. A friend responds with a picture, she is on her way to ultrasound. Is she pregnant too? She confirms when I ask. In our little group of 3, 2 are now pregnant. If my the next attempt in Denmark had been successful, we would all have been pregnant together .. I´m left with a strangely ambivalent feeling. On the one hand I am superhappy for my friend's great news, on the other hand a wave of envy washes over me. It feels so unfair that my own dream is put on hold. "Well, with the prednisolone I´m getting these days, we'll probably all look pregnant soon." I do not press send on that last comment. I don´t want to put a bittersweet filter on the good news. Right now, my life feels like scenes from a movie, and at the moment it's hard to see if it's a movie with a sad or a happy ending. ​

Foto: Guttorm Wiik