The rocking horse

About this time last year, I got an old rocking horse in wood from the 50's. It was right after the 3rd attempt in Denmark. When asked if I wanted it, I thought it might be a nice renovation project in anticipation of a positive pregnancy test. There is something nice about renovating and giving new life to old things. When I got sick, there was  too much painful symbolism in the rocking horse. So  for a long time it was left hidden, but not forgotten in the basement. As I got better, it got to come out again and what stated as a fun project has become increasingly charged with meaning. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a goal was formed to get it done before the november check up. As a sign that it's ready for what's to come.

It looked quite messy and worn out when it arrived. Ironically and without knowing it at the time, the rocking horse and I were actually in a bit of the same condition when I got it. Tired expression with peeling paint and brittle hair. In a similar way, we have also undergone an overhaul throughout the year. Layer after layer of paint is scraped away, with chisels and chemicals. With sandpaper, the innermost layer finally appeared. It revealed some wounded, but mostly solid wood. Nothing that couldn't be fixed. The wounds were covered and strengthened with putty. After a coat of primer, it immediately looked brighter during the summer. As the leaves began to fall, new layers of paint were added to hide putty and wounds. November evenings have given time to the last little details and it looks fresher and healthier than in a long time. The brittle, dirty mane has been replaced with fresh, well-groomed hemp and it starting to look more like its old self again. It will never be exactly the same again, but it has become all the richer in history. Time, energy and part of my story are now embedded in this rocking horse that was ready for the dumpster. Now it 's back at the starting line, ready to start a new and exciting chapter. Just like me. Today I had my check up at the rheumatalogist and I have been given the green light. I am healthy and stable enough to try to get pregnant !!