work trip

​It's Thursday morning at Gardemoen. A steady stream of people flows through the security checkpoint. With a flustered expression, I try to sort the suitcase, PC, liquid, jacket and shoes on the moving belt. "The beanie" the guard nods towards the belt. Ah, yes, I had forgotten it. Throw it on top the jacket. Ready. "You got liquid in the bag?" No ... ah shit, I forgot to empty the water bottle. I move through the metaldetector - piiip, random check. The guard gives me a smile and sweeps for traces of drugs on my hands and waistband. Then it's time to gather everything back together quickly and swiftly, without taking up space or being a nuisance to the next person in line. Is there one place you need to know what you're doing, it's at the airport. It's a small universe of social codes and norms. Countless chronicles have been written by smart, well-traveled and annoyed people about proper airport etiquette. An important point on the list is not spend too much time in the security check. Ideally, you should be through so quickly that no one even noticed you were there. As I finally get through to the other side, I fell sweat trickling dawn my back and a little flustered.

The last time I was at Gardemoen, both me and the airport were a lot calmer. I was on my way to Copenhagen and the Stork clinic. The tension in my chest was linked to something completely different than it is today. Today I am on a work related trip and have put on my work persona. With a slightly nicer jacket and boots, I try to cover up the slightly insecure girl who doesn't feel in control today. Serious faces swirl around me. They look so professional, as if they have everything taken care of. Maybe they're actually a little stressed inside too? It has somehow been part of my job identity to be conscientious and efficient. Now this job persona has started to crack at the edges. Where I used to have a large work capacity, I now get stressed more easily. These days it doesn't take much before things starts to feel fussy and tiring.

After buying an overly expensive coffee with pumpkin spice and filling tmy water bottle with lukewarm water from the restroom, I'm at the gate. I've been feeling well for a long time, so I'm not really worried that I'll suddenly get very sick trip. But I'm still a little anxious about how my energy level will hold up. In these kind of work contexts, there is less room for mental rest compared to a normal working day. Representing the workplace externally requires being a little more "powered up". The fact that everyone will give a small presentation is also stressing me a little. Even though I have met most of the participants before. It's strange that a few minutes of presentation steals so much mental energy and thought activity. I take a deep breath and lower my shoulders. Take a sip of the spicy coffee and remind myself of what I have tackled this year. So what if the powerpoint slides and the presentation isn't perfect, it really isn't the end of the world.