writing as therapy

Putting thoughts and feelings into writing has been form of therapy. Trying to see it all from the outside, as if it were a scene from someone else's life. By describing the environment or the feeling from the narrator's perspective, I somehow get to see and process it from a different angle. Emotions or thoughts that I am ashamed flows more freely and become a little less scary this way. In the weeks following the diagnosis, there were many such small stories and scenes that came to life for a little while. Sometimes in the form of poems. Some are deleted, some are allowed to live on, on the harddrive. Whether they exist anymore or not is not important. The most important were the cathartic moments where the words flowed freely and uninhibited.

Putting your thoughts into words by writing them down or saying them out loud makes it easier to see them objectively. Negative thought spirals are easier to detect and stop when you see the words written down or hear yourself say them out loud. The inner critic gets a little less power when the words are forced into the light, rather than buzzing unchallenged in the background. Sometimes I end up having to laugh out loud when I see / hear how silly they are. Other times I can't read through afterwards. Then I just press delete or burn the sheet afterwards. But just getting it out of your head makes it easier, reduces the pressure. Writing as therapy works in several of life's more difficult aspects, such as chronic pain, divorce or treatment of substance abuse.

I usually write digitally. It's easy to erase, reformulate or delete. Plus it's a lotfaster. In a way, there is an opportunity for retreat in a digital document. But at my bedside table lies a lined book, bound in blue imitation leather. An orange rubberband protects it. As a nice contrast against the blue. The idea was to use it as a gratitude journal or for personal scribbling, but I find it difficult to break the first page. Writing by hand on paper gives a special feeling, more personal in a way. Handwritten letters and cards are rarely sent these days, but oh so nice to receive. Words on paper capture emotions in a different way. Think how much more dramatic it is to burn a letter than to delete an email. For this reason, it feels like there should be written something important or nice on the first page of a blank, unwritten book. The first page of the blue book has been blank for a long time, but today I break it with a poem I wrote 10 days after I became ill. And at last the first blank page is finally broken.


Source:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psychiatry-history/202011/how-expressive-writing-works
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/write-yourself-well/201208/expressive-writing
https://psykologtidsskriftet.no/fra-praksis/2017/09/skrive-livet
https://axialspondyloarthritis.net/living/journaling
www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/05/170508162304.htm